Tuesday, March 23, 2010

New life on its way!

Less than four weeks to go. It's a fact impending, though not certain. First babies can be early, can be late, but rarely are they exactly on time. :-)

Not that it matters; I will be here waiting, listening, caring, working. I will be here. Very little seems important now except this. Waiting for my first grandchild to arrive is carrying more concern with it than I remember with my own. Obviously that can't be true, but I do believe the uncertainty of this future is greater, as I will only be on the periphery. This life will be dependent upon my offspring and his spouse. For a person who likes to maintain control in all areas, what a tough prospect!

They are good, they are concerned, they will love this child with their entire beings. All will be well - all will be wonderful.

Grandparenthood: It's supposed to be wonderful, being able to spend time and then hand them back in time for baths, burping, bad times. There's an edge to the world right now, like I can't get a deep breath. I'm hovering on the edge of the next generation and not clear where the edge really is. All while I listen to Karen Carpenter's silky voice softly singing in the background. Raising children is really best done by the young; the old get lost in their memories.

What's the saying about seasons? To everything there is a season - and the birth of this child will knock me perceptibly into the fall of my life. Maybe I'm already there, but I've been unaware. It's all around me and yet I don't see it. But I am not alone here, there are others living in this season, too, thinking they're in another. It helps us to continue. We're not really delusional, but while deluding ourselves to some degree; not purposefully.

I love that I am here, I truly do. I can't wait to be called "grandma" or "nana" or whatever works best for this wonderful new person who will only be a quarter of me. And then not necessarily a whole quarter, more like a part of a half.

I must stop watching the old videos, they are making me somber.

Children. The best things in life. They grow so quickly. They procreate. A plan, a good plan, a way of life. A great, wonderful plan.

Now Sarah McLachlan. Building a mystery. How appropriate.

I can't believe how quickly the fall of life has arrived. The next thing I know, it will be winter. Ah, well, I do love the snow...


  1. Gen, the time is ticking down even more as I write this. How exciting! What is magical is watching your son transform into a father. I watched that transformation in my own son on Mother's Day two years ago when his son was born. Being in the birthing room was such an honor! (And I found out my d-i-l had a butterfly tattoo on her hipbone).

  2. Can you update us? You write wonderfully, so don't stop.

  3. Meri - Not sure if you'll see this, but I have to tell you my surprise at finding your comment, as it was left on the day of my granddaughter's birth. You must have some kind of second sight! :-)
    Though things got complicated toward the actual birth and we were all kicked out at the end, I did get to spend the day with my d-i-l in labor, for which I was grateful. I didn't have any surprise tattoos show up - that must have brought a smile to your lips - but I am just beginning to realize the changes in my son and it is a wondrous thing.
    Thanks for your comments, you do inspire me to keep writing!