Goodness, it's amazing how time flies! I've been away too long, so much has gone on, it's hard to know just exactly what to write about. I jest really - there's nothing I want to write about more than my new grandchild.
Beautiful. Though I've tried to describe her in so many ways, it really does just come back to one single word: beautiful. Beautiful fingers, beautiful toes, beautiful eyes, a beautiful bend to her knee, simple, tiny little beautiful fingernails, completely and utterly new baby skin with not a single flaw. Beautiful in just every way.
Having had four children of my own, I thought I knew - or had a clue anyway - what being a grandparent might be about. I was prepared for this more than most, I thought. I really probably considered myself something of an expert on children and the asundry items that accompany them.
But no, it was untrue! The first time I held this new being it hit me like a wall of bricks, that she, too, is a part of this family unit, that there's a part of me in her just as surely as there's parts of me in my children, that her life will now be a reflection back to her parents' lives, that my son lives through her, around her, with her, and that I was really only right about one thing. That being a grandmother is a great, wonderful warm gift. It's a gift that your children give to you almost unintentionally, just as a part of the intricate scheme of their own lives, happenstance almost. As a part of their building a life together, creating a family of their own, they have children. And the having of children brings to their own parents the most unbelievable second chance at living again through the eyes of a child. A truly special present, one that should be given the utmost attention, handled carefully, and never kept on a shelf.
My granddaughter just recently celebrated being five months old. In that time she has grown already so much, from a newborn unable to focus on a face, entirely dependent upon the goodness of her mother and those caring for her, to an exuberant personality bubbling at her own seams. She smiles always. She has few bad moments - much like her father was, she is easy to decipher, most times it's obvious what her immediate need is. An easy, happy baby, her mother loves her completely and almost to fault, as do we all. Already it's clear she will have the clear strong blue eyes of her mom and those eyes seem to bring you in, all the way from across the room.
A stroke of luck for me, I have a daughter-in-law who seems to understand my need to hold the child. :-) Just teasing really, but I only have to walk in the room and she hands her over. What a joy! I've babysat a few times, but this weekend I'm scheduled to have her overnight for the first time. I don't believe I'll sleep! I expect to just watch her sleep all night, as she's been doing for months now. There is the remote possibility that her teething will keep her up - in which case we'll be awake together! I better get a rocking chair...
And a personal note: Thank you, Meri, for your kind words. It helps to write, but is even more helpful to know that someone is listening. You are yourself an inspiration - I'm not sure how you keep it up! I love your photos and musings... Since I'm not sure if my reply to your earlier comment will get back to you, I'm also trying this method. Hopefully you'll catch this post and go back and see my comment. :-)